How to Set Boundaries for More Daily Well-Being

Do you ever feel overwhelmed, drained, or taken advantage of? Perhaps you struggle to say no, constantly feel responsible for others’ feelings, or struggle to prioritize your needs. These challenges might indicate a need for stronger boundaries. Keep reading to learn how to set boundaries for more well-being.

Why I Set Boundaries & How They Set Me Free

As a reminder, I am not a mental health professional. I am, however, a person, just like you, who has been on a well-being journey for most of my adult life. Through many trials and errors (and professional guidance along the way, too), I have found that one of the keys to overall happiness and well-being is knowing how to set boundaries. Whether with a loved one or a co-worker, setting boundaries is a form of self-respect and the foundation of self-worth. It’s the platform to establish our base instructions for how we want to interact with others and how we desire others to interact with us.

This article is part of our Get Started with Well-Being series. You may also enjoy reading Why Your Worth is Not Your Work, and Why That’s Good.

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Boundaries: The Cornerstone of Well-being

Boundaries are essential for a happy and fulfilling life. They act as invisible lines that define how we interact with the world and the people around us. Healthy boundaries establish what is acceptable in your relationships and what is not. They allow you to protect your time, energy, and emotional well-being.

Over the past seven years, I have worked tirelessly to establish more personal boundaries within my marriage, family, friendships, and work life. The result? More happiness, more space to live my desired life, and higher confidence and self-esteem. I no longer feel tongue-tied when confronted with uncomfortable conversations or shut down when voicing my opinions, needs, desires, and wants. Below I share the five books that helped me establish my boundaries and find more joy in my every day.

Why Are Boundaries Important for Well-being?

Setting healthy boundaries offers a multitude of benefits for your holistic well-being. Here are a few key reasons to prioritize boundaries:

• Reduced Stress and Anxiety: Establishing clear boundaries avoids feeling overwhelmed and resentful. This reduces stress and anxiety, promoting a sense of calm and control.
• Improved Relationships: Healthy boundaries foster healthier relationships. People learn to respect your needs and limitations, leading to stronger and more authentic connections.
• Increased Self-Esteem: Setting boundaries demonstrates self-respect and self-worth. This empowers you and boosts your overall confidence.
• Enhanced Well-being: When you prioritize your well-being by setting boundaries, you have more energy and resources to invest in self-care and personal growth.

Ready to Cultivate Well-being Through Boundaries?

If you’re looking to set healthier boundaries and cultivate greater well-being, here are my top 5 books to get you started:

1. Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, To Take Control of Your Life by Henry Cloud and John Townsend: A classic in the field of boundaries, this book explores the importance of setting boundaries in all aspects of life and offers practical strategies for achieving them.
2. Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab: This approachable guide by a licensed therapist delves into the complexities of setting boundaries, particularly in our personal relationships. It provides clear explanations and actionable exercises to help you build healthy boundaries with confidence.
3. Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have too Much to Do (And More Life to Live) by Eve Rodsky. Stop being the “shefault” in a relationship and find solutions for more equitable diversification of life’s daily tasks. Stop drowning in to-dos and lose some of that invisible workload that’s pulling you down. this book focuses on navigating challenges that arise in coupled relationships and provides practical solutions for navigating the tricky conversations over the work we all must do.
4. Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Sue Johnson: While not solely focused on boundaries, this book by a renowned couples therapist explores the importance of emotional connection and healthy communication in relationships. These skills are essential for setting and maintaining boundaries.
5. Forgiving What You Can’t Forget: Discover How to Move On, Make Peace with Painful Memories, and Create a Life That’s Beautiful Again by Lysa TerKeurst: This book specifically addresses the challenges of setting boundaries with difficult people and how to find forgiveness for the people who refuse to change. It offers guidance on navigating complex emotions and protecting your well-being during a difficult time.

These books offer valuable insights and practical tools to empower you to set healthy boundaries and cultivate a life of greater well-being. Remember, boundaries are not about being selfish; they’re about self-care and creating a life that aligns with your values and needs. Start your journey today and experience the transformative power of healthy boundaries!